The Dilemma Of love – (part1)

by Pastor Vincent Imwensi

Love is a beautiful thing
Have you ever been in love? I mean romantic love with someone of the opposite sex? I am not talking of infatuation and lust but real sincere love. If you have, you will agree with me that it is a wonderful thing.

To truly love somebody who also loves you with the same or greater intensity is one of the most beautiful experiences known to man. It fills your life with sunshine, your heart with gladness and your mouth with laughter. In fact, it adds meaning to life and makes it worth living.

 I know what it means
By God’s grace, I became a born again Christian early in my life and so the Bible became “a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path”. As a result, I did not dabble much into the quagmire of youthful lusts with all the pains, hurts, heartaches and regrets that often go with it. I saw what happened to some of my colleagues and friends who went out to experiment.

It was not that I did not find the opposite sex attractive or that I was never tempted – of course I was! But I understood from God’s word that I needed to wait until I was ready for true love before venturing into it.

So I waited patiently (while concentrating on my studies) until I was ready to get married and that was when I opened the door. Prayerfully, I went out searching and I found. Yes, I fell in love with someone really special and married my sweetheart.

It has been a number of years since then (well over ten years) and today, we are happier together than we’ve ever been – and I mean that.

To be honest with you, it has not always been a smooth ride. There have been times when it was all so sweet, but also there have been many troubled times when things were rough, when the violent and ugly winds of life’s realities threatened to blow us apart. So I am not a total novice in this department, I have learnt one or two things.

Like a jigsaw puzzle
There is perhaps no other subject on earth today, other than love, which has within it the capacity to generate a combination of opposing extremes.

It can provoke the greatest excitement as well as the deepest disappointment; it can produce sweetness as well as bitterness, goodness as well as wickedness, kindness as well as cruelty, gentleness as well as violence, happiness as well as heartaches …. etc.

Nothing can build as well as love does and yet nothing can destroy more than love when it turns sour. It can bring two total strangers into oneness and bond them together in beautiful harmony but also, it can tear apart bosom friends and make them unforgiving enemies.

It can beam the light of hope and lift up the downcast into a high euphoria of bliss but at the same time, if not handled properly, it can wipe the smile off the face of the happiest person and cast his soul down into the pool of deep despair.

Those who don’t have it wish for it but those who mishandle it wish they never had it. Love is something you can’t satisfactorily live without.

Life without love (not necessarily romantic love) is like an empty shell. But when violated, love can turn into something you want to run from. What a dilemma indeed!

What went wrong with love?
Something is not right somewhere about this love thing. How can the very thing that is supposed to yield so much fulfillment, joy and happiness become the root cause of so much bitterness, wickedness, disappointment and sadness?
Do you know how many people each year pull the trigger or stab with a cruel knife to kill the one they are supposed to love most dearly?

Many reasons may be advanced for this but I believe that the chief cause of love dilemma is because God is left out of it.

Love between man and woman (romantic love) was God’s idea, to begin with. It was God who said it was not good for man to be alone and He created the woman as a result (Gen.2:18-25).

When Adam set his eyes on Eve, it was love at first sight. He was so excited that he constructed a poem right on the spot –
“…This is now bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh:
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh…”

And that melody of love and sweet harmony between Adam and his wife continued until man fell out with God through disobedience.
Sorry if you do not believe the Bible but I do.

It still works today
Letting God into your life and basing your marriage or relationship on His word is the best antidote against “love decay” and the best tonic that can protect your love and keep your love life from turning sour.

Hacking your spouse’s telephone conversations, probing every unfamiliar number that you find on their phone bills or even hiring private detectives to stalk them will not safeguard your love. Look around and you will see that this is true. In fact, more than likely, these actions will bring in the divorce lawyers quicker than anything else.

The reason I don’t cheat on my wife
By God’s grace, I do not cheat on my wife and I am not about to do so. In fact, the mere thought of it is offensive to me.

That is not to say that I am better or stronger than anyone else – not at all.
If you must know, the reason is NOT because I am a disciplined man (with plenty of self-control) or that I do not feel tempted by the opposite sex or that I hold a responsible position as a Pastor or that my wife is so flawless that she doesn’t do things that I hate sometimes or that I don’t want to hurt her feelings – none of those.

Of course, I would hate to purposely do anything that will hurt her feelings but there is a way a man’s weakness can get hold of him that he ends up doing weird things without caring about who gets hurt and who doesn’t. That is the naked truth.

The reason I don’t cheat on my wife is because of my relationship with God through faith in Christ Jesus. To me, this is a very real thing. This relationship has brought into my life the fear of God, the ability to overcome temptations and personal weaknesses as well as the consciousness of His indwelling presence.

Even behind closed doors in a remote hotel, God’s presence is there. How can you then do what He calls abomination right before His watching eyes? Such a wonderful consciousness makes it hard to do some ugly stuff. Every truly born again Christian committed to walking with God can testify to these blessed realities in their lives.

You don’t know what you are missing!
People don’t know what they miss when they live their lives based on their own humanistic ideologies without God. A living relationship with the almighty God is not only life-changing, it is exciting and with many advantages including where love is concerned.

I am not talking of dead religiosity here – I am talking of a living relationship with God (by faith in Christ Jesus) that satisfies the deep longings of the human soul.

Dear friend, you need Him more than you do realize and I invite you to open the door of your heart and enter into a wonderful relationship with God. He loves you!  Click here to find out how.

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